three weeks can change you

A small part of my testimony to God's faithfulness, love, mercy, and grace...

[an essay]

There have been many experiences throughout my life that have impacted me—changed the way I viewed the world, how I acted towards others, or my relationship with Christ. There are three weeks, in particular, however, that stand out to me as a time of growth in recent years. During those three weeks I saw God work through me when I thought He couldn’t, I experienced His sustaining grace in grief, and I experienced His strength in a time of weariness. And through all three weeks, I saw His sufficiency rise above my insufficiency. It was an intense time of growth, and I came out of those three weeks a different person. I’ll walk through each week one at a time.

The first week was my first time staffing with TeenPact, a non-profit leadership school. I felt so unprepared and “green” walking into that week. All the other staff had worked on at least one other state, while this was my very first time staffing. We were staying at the State Coordinator's house and for that time, I was expected to carry myself as an adult away from my family, fulfill my responsibilities, and support the rest of the team. As I was, and am, a quieter individual, a newbie, and nothing if not practical, I assumed a few things about what I would accomplish that week. I assumed that I would help Joe, our Program Director, with logistical things and fulfill more menial tasks so as to free up the rest of the team to go change lives and impact the students. I was nervous, a little scared, and not very confident. However, God had other plans in mind.

On the very first day, I spotted a young girl student, who was in my small group, who seemed frightened and shy. Throughout the rest of the week, I tried to connect with her and help her, and at the end of the week, received a letter from her and her mother, telling me that they had seen God work through me. Both of them said that my quietness, what I saw as my weakness, had helped me to connect with this girl as none of the other staff could. I saw first-hand that God does really work in our weaknesses.

The second week was also spent staffing TeenPact. By this time, I had gotten my feet under me and had a better understanding of how the week would flow. I was feeling pretty good about the week. However, on the second day, we received news that the mother of a very good friend had been diagnosed with cancer, and only had a few months to live. I, along with my two other friends who knew them, were not sure what to do. We could not get a hold of our friend and we were scheduled to stay and staff for another week. We were drained of emotion and energy by the time we went to bed that night, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get up and staff the next morning. On top of that, I was scheduled to do the devotional the next morning. I couldn't think of what I could possibly talk about, or how I was expected to actually share God's grace with others when I was so drained. However, God gave each of us strength to finish out the week strong—to encourage and support each other. My devotional ended up being about trust... and I was talking to myself more than anyone else. That week was so hard, dealing with difficult news while away from my family and doing draining work. But I grew through it, and I saw God's faithfulness as He walked beside me the whole way.

After the two weeks of staffing ended, the very next day, I hopped on a plane and flew down to Mexico for a mission trip. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally drained, sad because I’d had to say goodbye to the staff I had connected with over the past two weeks, and not overly confident in my Spanish skills. It was difficult to wake up each day. It was truly an experience where I felt God’s renewed mercy and strength each morning. We were running little “carnivals” for the kids at an orphanage. Between each wave of kids, I would sit down, positive there was no way I would be able to get up and do anything. I felt like I was about to collapse. And each time the next group of kids came to the door, I stood up, put on a smile, and in God’s strength, did it all over again. I have never before or since felt God’s presence, sustaining grace, or hourly renewed strength as I did that week.

Through those three weeks, I gained a better understanding of just how good, great, and faithful God is. He works through and in spite of our weaknesses. He is our closest friend when times are hard. And He always gives us the grace and strength to do what He has called us to do. I can say those three weeks have changed my life because now, each time I face a challenge that seems impossible, I can look back on those three weeks and say “With man, it is impossible. But with God, nothing is impossible.”