amazing grace... will lead me home.

I still cry when I hear this song. Here's the full lyrics, with two additional verses.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

--

My favorite verse, aside from the first one, is the third.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares I have already come.
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

It has come to mean even more to me in the last couple weeks, as I've agonized over decisions about the future. Sometimes I'm so tired that I just want to give up.

Forget college. Forget a job. Forget it. I'm just too tired.

Of course, those sentiments don't remain long, at least not in all seriousness, but the feeling of being weary, defeated, and afraid remains. I like to be in control and I like to have a master plan. But all the plans I've made in the last few months have proved to be very... well... fluid. They keep changing, and moving. One week, it's one college, but a different one the next week. I've taken to giving "scripted" answers to the dreaded question, "You're graduating this year, what do you want to do?"
I give the same answer every time... some vague reference to college, journalism, and God's will. I want to be honest, but if I told the questioner what I was really thinking at that exact moment, everyone would think that I had multiple personality disorder, because the answer would be different every time. "I don't know" is about as honest as it gets.

As I've struggled with this process, this verse from Amazing Grace becomes ever more comforting. Every time I sing it, I remember it is true.
I have come through many dangers, toils, and snares. There have been many times where I didn't know what was going to happen, or my plans fell through. But God has led me safely through them every single time.

Hasn't He been so faithful?

My own experience proves to me that I can trust His faithfulness. He has led me through every other time, and (may I be able to say it honestly) I have confidence that He will lead me the rest of the way.
Oh Lord, help me to own that knowledge.
I have confidence that He will lead me the rest of the way.

That last line of the verse is my war cry against fear of the future. When I look into the future and can't see, this is my comfort. When I am so afraid I will make the wrong decision, or that things won't turn out right, I can rest in this knowledge:

Grace has brought me safe this far, and grace will lead me home.

I will say it again. I have confidence that my Lord will lead me the rest of the way.