Rant: 3 Kinds of People

Yes. I'm a writer and a nerd... I title my rants. Okay, here it goes...

There are three kinds of people. Those who know everything, those who are always right, and those who aren't either. I'm sure if you thought about it long enough, you could sort all your friends into one of those three categories.

Those who know everything are characterized by the following traits:
Everyone always asks them what they want to know. See, by "know everything" I don't mean that they are a walking encyclopedia, but that they are connected with and educated about their social sphere at extreme levels. They seem to know what everyone said, did, and even thought on any given day. They are good thermometers of a crowds leanings and can inform you about any social tidbit you might need to know. Because they know everything.
If you want to know, say, why someone wasn't at a class on Friday, and you go up to your friend and ask them, and they say, "I don't know, ask Fred," then Fred is probably someone who knows everything.

Those who are always right are characterized by the following traits:
They always tell you exactly what you are thinking and what your motives are and seem to understand them better than you. They cut through the chase in any given conversation and get to the heart of the issue. They have an irritating habit of making pity-parties feel absolutely ridiculous. They have an amazing capacity to not only have the right perspective, but make sure you have it too. Excuses mean nothing to them. They read you like a book. They sympathize with you, but they don't let you complain for very long before setting you straight. And no matter what they say, you can't help but like them anyway. Probably because... well... you know they're right. Whenever you start to complain, they tell you exactly why it is unreasonable, silly, or just plain wrong of you to feel that way, and what you are really doing. And the creepy thing-- They're always right.
If you start complaining about, say, feeling like nobody likes you, and your friend says, "You know, you're just seeking the praise of man," then you've probably got someone who's always right on your hands.

Those who are neither are characterized by the following traits:
You are like me. You're sometimes right and sometimes know something, but never always. You regularly seek out those who know everything to help you accomplish or find out something, knowing that they are willing to help you. You often find yourself venting to the people who are always right, knowing you'll find a sympathetic ear, and they will set you straight when you're done. You regularly get irritated with both categories for knowing things you don't know and pinpointing your ulterior motives. You can't, however, stay irritated with them for very long, and usually end up seeking out their company again and again.

So that's my rant. It's tough being in category 3... but then again, most of those people are in one of the other categories, and just don't know it. Who's in which category, it seems, often depends on who you ask. :)