When You Don't Remember the Moment that Changed Your Life

I remember very well, sitting in church or youth group, and listening to another amazing testimony about a life dramatically changed. I was touched along with everyone else as a new believer described their former way of life, and then contrasted it to how they lived. No one can walk away completely untouched by a story of how God’s grace pulled a seemingly hopeless sinner from the depths of despair. And yet, I felt something besides pure joy and praise at what He had done. I felt almost jealous, maybe even cheated, that I did not have a story like this myself. I know I’m not the only one who’s thought this.
I wish my testimony was like that.
While I was thankful that I didn’t have to work through all the junk of a past life given to sin, somehow, I felt that I would be more effective if I had a dramatic conversion story.
I think this is common among those of us who grew up in the church. We received Christ at a very young age, and sometimes, don’t even clearly remember it. Every once in a while, when at a low point, I even wonder if it ever happened, because I don’t remember it, I was so young, and I don’t remember life without it.
However, God’s been teaching me in the past year that I need to treasure what He’s given me. We, who have been following Christ since we were young, have a God-given opportunity to constantly learn and grow without the baggage of a painful past. It is a unique journey of discovery that God had planned for us, and it’s time we realize how precious that is.
We also need to rest in the fact that God knows what He’s doing.
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
It may seem in our meager human understanding that it would be better to have a distinct, dramatic conversion story, but God’s ways are higher, and He’s chosen the very best plan for you. Whether you have that dramatic conversion, or are like me, and barely remember it, it is what is best for you, because it’s what God gave you. Rest assured, if it would have brought God more glory for you to have a dramatic conversion story, you would have one. And since we should only want what will bring God the most glory, we need to take what He’s given us, treasure it, and use it to further His kingdom.
With that in mind, let us continue to press on in our journey, discover new depths of grace and love, and continue in this process of ever growing nearer to our Lord. Because no matter how you came to Christ, there’s always a new level of intimacy with Him to discover.